The Devils cat...

Well hi,
I am sure the title says it all. I probably don't really need to elaborate, but hell. I'm gonna! It would seem that from the hours of roughly six am to maybe three pm our cat is possessed. We have this cat, I really do love her. But also I can be honest with myself and admit that the only reason I love her is because the service she provides me every morning. Every morning my darling daughter comes into our room to wake me up and breath her used air right into my mouth. Its really lovely. So I after I come to and start gagging on her morning breath, I have the great pleasure of hearing her screams as she runs for her life. This cat...that my daughter named Sparkle pretty much hates her! She sleeps at the end of our bed and when Bailee creeps into our room in the morning, Sparkle wakes up and attacks her. She runs through the bedroom at full speed and attacks Bailee's legs and feet until she runs screaming from our room. I have to admit.... it is pretty much the best part of my morning. I told Bailee that she is my trained attack cat. My only wish is that I could train her not to attack me as well. Yesterday while walking down the hallway she took me down. She dodged between my legs, tripped me, then went for the money shot! That furry ball of ass holes took me to the ground and then attacked my hair. Sparkle took a chunk out of my scalp but honestly aside from my wounded pride she did not actually do much damage. My guess is that her personality disorder was derived from the horrible name she was given. Like if you give a gerbil the name Horus he is gonna be a stand up fella. Smart and courteous. He will probably wear little gerbil suspenders and thick rimmed glasses and just be a stand up gentleman! But come on....Sparkle? Side note: Bailee calls her litter box a GLITTER BOX! I find that unusually amusing! Anyhow, back to the devils ball of fur! So basically the Kujo cat can run off a five year old child and apparently a full grown adult. She has ran off the dog on multiple occasions. We are essentially all scared of her! Except Clay, he walks up to her and picks her up and walks off lugging this lanky cat. She eventually turns on him and executes her assault, but he doesn't  seem to mind.

Sparkle the cat enjoys longs walks across your facial structure while you are/were sleeping. As well as the sounds small children make when they are writhing in agony after having their arm skin ripped away from their bodies. She also enjoys almost hanging herself with the string from the blinds. She has escaped death a handful of times  from those dang blinds! She also enjoys collecting. Her collections include and are not limited to: Tampons, pads, hair ties, qtips, socks, barbies/barbie heads, make up brushes, empty toilet paper rolls, headphones and seasonal decor. Sparkle also has a voice that carries. I think she knows this..which is the only reason that i can think of for her standing in the shower and yowling in the middle if the night.

But now... my darlin devilish cat has gone and sought out a dude.. fornicated outside of wedlock and is excepted to deliver any day now. This is not the part of being a cat mom I expected..but what can ya do? In all honestly she’s a total sweet pie. She just happens to only like me!

That being said.... kittens anyone?

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