1-9-17

What a crazy few days its been! Last week I got some bad news, I still have not fully wrapped my head around it. Firstly we are in limbo right now, my doctor is out of the country working with Doctors without Borders...so although having him gone is frustrating, Id be a real jerk to be pissed right?? So Im not pissed just anxious, I need answers to the bomb he dropped in my lap before he left! 

So in order for everything to make more sense here is a little info. I have been on a drug called Femara for 5 months. Femara is very similar to Clomid which is a very populars infertility drug for stimulating ovulation. Femara is technically a post cancer treatment drug but its makeup is very similar to Clomid and so it has been used to stimulate ovulation as well and has been linked to some success with conceiving. 7 rounds of Clomid was effective in helping us get pregnant with Bailee. Unfortunately I developed a pretty severe allergy to Clomid which became worse and worse every month as the dose was elevated. These two drugs are the only oral infertility drugs which makes them more affordable. With that being said my doctor just told me that after 5 months Femara is not working for me. And with Clomid being and Femara being ruled out....Im left waiting for my Doctor to get back from Guatemala so we can sit down and discuss what to do next.

So at this point im stuck waiting. I dont know if he has some great plan or some tricks up his sleeve. But I have an appointment February 7th, so here we just wait. Things I know that exist as options are injections and there are several different types...I just dont know if they are options for me...My body seems highly determined to reject anything that can help at this point. And because I can not seem to maintain a regular cycle its impossible to track anything which in turn makes conception confusing and difficult. 

This all has been so hard to hear and deal with. Im the kind of person that has a hard time staying mad and upset about anything, but this is just an emotion I cant shake. It will sporadically send me into a funk and I just get grumpy and sad. Its really hard to not know what your future holds, and right now I am left hanging for 3 weeks waiting to find out if i get some good news finally or if i get more bad news. No one has been able to tell me why I have had such a hard time getting pregnant no one has answers as to why I can not maintain a cycle. Its absolutely maddening.